íSe Habla Español!
“Hilarious Entertainment Shows”
(AKA The Funky Honky)
Born July 18, 1968
Truthfully, Lex is not sure why he is even performing with the ZOOperstars! He has no redeeming qualities or talents. He can’t dance. He can’t memorize the routines. He doesn’t like to travel. He doesn’t like little kids. He doesn’t like big kids. He doesn’t like adults. He doesn’t like umpires or hotels or sports or music or airplanes or people…and he doesn’t deal well with women, either. He frequently gets nervous while performing and passes out inside the costumes. Lex attended Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN and graduated with a double major in Math and Spanish.
Favorite TV Shows: The Simpsons, Seinfeld
Favorite Movies: The Razor’s Edge, Groundhog Day, Old School, Bambi
Favorite Musicians or Groups: Neil Young, Sting, The Cure, The Artie Dean Harris Band, Barbara Streisand
Favorite Foods: Sushi and cold beer
Favorite Restaurants: Ones that serve Sushi and cold beer
Favorite Sports to Play: Marbles, Pick-up-sticks, Duck-Duck-Goose, Marco Polo, Building Forts, Kickball, Doctor, Spin the Bottle, Paper Rock Scissors
Favorite Athletes: (tie) Dominic Latkovski and Oprah
Favorite Sports Teams: The Toros and my 7th grade soccer team
Favorite ZOOperstars! characters: Walter the Infected Scab, Kevin the Cockroach, Ed the Purple Tree Monkey, Carol the Inflatable Leftover Tuna Casserole, and Donald the Stupid Albino Porcupine
Favorite Venues: Sorry, I don’t understand French
Favorite ESPN Personalities: I don’t watch that kind of show
Favorite Cities: Dali (China), and of course, Yakutsk, Irkutsk, Madagascar and Kamchatka
Favorite Airports: Phoenix, Louisville, Dali (China)
Least Favorite Airports: Baghdad International Airport, Lagos International Airport (Nigeria), Kandahar International Airport (Afghanistan), and International House of Pancakes
Favorite Vacation Spot: Hooters
Favorite Airlines: Fed-Ex and Pan Am
Most Memorable ZOOperstars! moment: Completing this intrusive, humiliating, and stupid questionnaire.